


Fallout

by orphan_account



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Flirting, Fluff, Grinding, LOTS OF FLIRTING OMFG YOU'LL DIE, Lindsay is amazing in this okay, M/M, Mavin, Smut, Tickling, but not sexual tickling, cute flirty tickling, dominant/submissive undertones, protective!geoff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-17
Updated: 2015-02-17
Packaged: 2018-02-23 06:20:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2537378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To say the Michael and Gavin were oblivious would be an understatement. As they grow more aware, things become more intense and life beings to fall to shit. Nothing is what you except when you're in love with your best friend, and everybody knows it but you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Invite Me In So We Can Play Pretend

**Author's Note:**

> This was a fic that I wrote with the beautiful ashleygail. (tumblr user 'ashleygail' as well.) This is the first thing we've ever done together, so we hope you enjoy it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title taken from the song Alone Together by Fall Out Boy

Michael drove along the deserted road, nobody in sight. It’s quiet, the road free of debris that could possibly get in his way. He turns left, then right, driving along this road without a care in the world. The road, rainbow in colour, glistens and shines beneath Michael’s tires. Otherwise, the sky is black as night while the stars sparkle in the distance. All is perfect

He sees it, just out of the corner of his eye. He quickly swerves to the left, desperately  trying to escape it. The green ball narrowly passes him, running off the side of the road. Michael reluctantly returns to his previous position, constantly checking to see any oncoming dangers as paranoia sets in.

He can see his destination, only 50 feet away. His grip on the steering wheel tightens, moving forward in his seat as excitment rushes through his veins. Just over a small hill, and he will make it, he’s so close he can taste it.

The sound of splats ring out in the distance. Glancing in his rearview mirror, he sees to his dismay, a yellow object rapidly flying towards him. He swerves but it still contents, sending him spinning out of control. He manages to stop, only now he’s facing away from his destination. Another car, roughly 20 feet away, comes barrelling towards him. The driver clips the side of Michaels’ vehicle, which is more than enough to send him spinning out of control once again, flying off the road and over the side.

“Goddamnit, Gavin!” Michael shouts, tossing his control onto the floor. His cheeks begin to flush, dulling the redness of his curls. “What the actual fuck?”

Gavin shot Michael a cocky smile as he crossed the finish line, winning the game. Michael let out an angry huff, stomping towards the kitchen.

Gavin skipped after Michael, his smirk even more profound. The kitchen window was wide open, letting gusts of chilling air into the quiet room. Wind blew through the room, swirling and floating through the air. It took a liking to luscious red curls, blowing clumps of Michael’s hair into his face; some escaping his beanie. Michael’s face was contorted into a pout as he pushed the loose strands back into the black cloth.

Gavin reached out to the other boy, wrapping his arm around and resting it on the small of Michael’s back. “What the matter, my little Micool?”

“You did that on purpose!” Michael practically growled, fists clenched. “You fucking cheating-”

“Excuse me, Michael, I don’t believe I cheated at all.” Gavin crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow.

“You think you’re real tough shit, don’t you?” Michael advanced towards the taller, tanner boy. Gavin continued to smile cockily, ticking off the American boy more. Michael laughed maniacally. “I’ll show you how great you really are.” He growled, pinning Gavin up against the wall.

Michael’s fists were clenched, completely prepared to punch the cocky, cheating son of a bitch. Once he caught a glimpse of the expression on Gavin’s face- the mixture of nervousness and expectation- he found that he couldn’t do it.

He unclenched his fists and grabbed a hold of Gavin’s hips, pressing his fingers into the fleshy part just above the bone, causing the British lad to jump and squeal.

“No, Michael! No, please!” Gavin begged, gripping Michael’s shoulders. “Stop! I’m ticklish.”

“I know.” Michael spoke into Gavin’s neck, continuing to tickle him relentlessly.Gavin squirmed, trying with all this might to get away.

All Gavin could focus on was the feeling of Michael’s fingers all over his body. They dug into his sides, pressing deliciously into the soft flesh. He was breathless, heavy pants coming from his mouth as he desperately tried to escape Michael. Giggles fell from his mouth, resonating in the quiet room. Gavin’s eyes flicked down to Michael’s lips, glossy from the salvia.

Gavin’s face flushed impossibly red as realization hit him that this was usually a sign in a movie when two people are about to kiss. Michael’s breath caught in his throat, realizing where Gavin’s eyes had strayed.

Michael released Gavin hips, pulling away while wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Not so tough, are you?”

“No.” Gavin replied quietly, looking at his shorter friend with mild curiosity. “I suppose not.”

***

“GO!” Geoff Ramsey spoke loudly into the Achievement Hunter office. Lindsay Tuggey trailed her camera away from the man to the other employees, all of which were rushing around picking games.

Lindsay hovered her camera on Ray Narvaez Jr, who had already begun his game and was doing quite well.

“Micool.” Gavin called, bouncing over to the other lads’ seat. Michael glanced up sideways, not giving any verbal reply- almost as though one wasn’t needed. Lindsay, upon seeing that Gavin was paying more attention to Michael than the task at hand, moved the camera to begin recording them instead.

“Michael.” Gavin repeated, dropping onto the American boys’ lap. Michael gave a small eye roll,rotating his desk chair back towards his monitor (as much as he could with a body in the way.)

“Gavin, I don’t whether or not to call that cheating.” Geoff spoke into the microphone, a shadow of a laugh on his tired face.

Gavin glanced over his shoulder, shooting Geoff a cat-that-caught-the-canary smile. He wiggled himself in Michael’s lap, not so much to get comfortable but more to draw attention to where he was seated.

Michael felt the colour leave his face as Gavin continued to shimmy around in his lap. HE placed his free hand on Gavin’s leg as an attempt to stop the British lad from squirming so much. Discomfort spread itself on Michael’s features, his face flushing to match the colour of his hair. When it became obvious that Gavin wasn’t going to stop moving, Michael whipped the chair around and shoved the boy to the ground.

“You fucking idiot.” Michael forced out a laugh as he attempted to quickly and discreetly re-adjust himself.

Gavin’s face- only inches from Michael’s crotch- quickly lost it’s pout upon seeing Michael’s discomfort. His face broke into a large grin as something he’d only recently begun thinking about sparked his interest.

He grabbed hold of Michael’s knees to help hoist himself up off the floor, purposely trailing his hands up Michael’s legs and squeezing his forearms. This method of “standing” lead the two boys to be face-to-face, noses nearly touching. Michael held Gavin’s gaze, eyes filled with confusion but with an otherwise flawless poker face. He pressed a hand to Gavin’s chest and pushed him away.  

Gavin practically skipped back to his seat, smile lingering on his face as he believed that Michael’s hand may have stayed on his chest for a moment too long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos take seconds and mean the absolute most to us.  
> Comments take slightly longer, and they mean even more.


	2. Here Them Whisper, You Won't Believe It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We plan on updating every Monday, so stay tuned for the next update! Please enjoy and tell us what you think. We love to hear ways that we can improve.  
> Title taken from Something To Talk About by Bonnie Raitt

Lindsay smiled smugly at Geoff, as the man watched the clip from the latest GO! video. Michael and Gavin were standing face-to-face, noses nearly touching, Gavin’s hand rested on Michael’s upper arm. Michael’s face was flushed bright red, his lips a similar colour from constantly biting them, teeth making small indents in the flesh. His eyes were hooded as he looked up towards Gavin.

“What am I supposed to be seeing here?” Geoff asked, his expression a mixture of amusement and irritation.

“The sexual tension… or chemistry, either really.” Lindsay replied with a simple shrug. Geoff gave a small laugh and shook his head. Lindsay’s fascination was well known around the office, even more now than ever. She was becoming more and more adamant that Michael and Gavin were in love with each other.  
Geoff pushed away from his desk, standing with a shake of his head.

“You should probably take that out. You know how the fans are, wouldn’t want to get them all worked up over nothing.”

“It’s not nothing!” Lindsay said, sounding truly offended. “The fans should be prepared for when the truth comes out.”

“Okay, whatever you say.” Geoff attempted to put the conversation to rest, but Lindsay wasn’t having any of it.

“Don’t you belittle me, Geoffrey.” Lindsay pulled her phone out of her pocket and began to flip through images. “The men in this company may be totally blind but I’m not and neither are the fans.”

She turned her phone screen towards him, an image of the two boys visible. It appeared as though they were loving by pool, Gavin more or less lying in Michael’s lap. When Geoff looked a little closer, he could see a faint blush on Michael’s cheeks. Geoff couldn’t help but look even further, trying to find some excuse as to what was occurring in the picture. After all, it could have been a hot day, causing the blush on Michael’s cheeks. Then Geoff couldn’t help but notice that Michael’s hand was gripping the towel harder than necessary. No logical reasoning could be found.

“Yeah, okay, but-” Geoff began as Lindsay flipped to the next image, one where Gavin was leaning over the back of the couch in Michael’s apartment, one hand placed on Michael’s shoulder. Michael was smiling as though he’d never been happier in his whole life.

“Lindsay, these really don’t mean-” Geoff began before she jumped in and cut him off.

“And I came across this not even two weeks ago!” Lindsay flipped to a picture where the two boys asleep, curled up in Michael’s bed. They both looked at peace, arms wrapped around each other, the blankets at an angle that made it appear as though neither boy was wearing any clothing.

“Yeah, that’s sort of intimate.” Geoff scratched his head, feeling as though even looking at that picture was an invasion of Michael and Gavin’s privacy. How Lindsay had come across them, he didn’t want to know.

Lindsay flipped through a series of selfies, taken by Gavin with Michael in the background. Michael wasn’t paying attention to the pictures being taken but he was laughing- and even while taking the picture, Gavin’s eyes were trailing towards Michael as though he couldn’t look away.  
Geoff sits back down beside her and looked directly into her determined blue eyes. “If I said that I believed you, would you become totally unbearable?”  
Lindsays’ eyes light up, and her face broke into a huge smile. “I absolutely would.”

Geoff sighed loudly as Lindsay practically bounced in her seat. “Okay, okay, I didn’t actually say that I believed you.”

While the pair continued to argue over whether or not Geoff believed that Michael and Gavin had a thing going on, Ray came into the room taking the seat on the other side of Lindsay.

“I’m just saying.” Lindsay said, raising her hands defensively. “Imagine what those two get up to in your house when you’re not home. Or when you are home, completely unaware.”

Geoff coughed loudly, Ray shooting them both a bemused look. “What are you two talking about?”

“Michael and Gavin fucking.” Lindsay replied cheerfully. Ray takes a sharp intake of breath, then visibly gags.

“Lindsay, that is so fucking gross-” Ray complained, his face appearing to have paled.

“No, I’d bet you any money that they’ll be at LEAST sleeping together in six months time.”

Ray gagged again, placing a hand over his mouth. The images Lindsay was placing into his mind were almost too much, causing a panic to rise in his stomach.

“It’ll be really intense the first time.” Lindsay speculated. “Gavin, being a little shit, will do something that will totally enrage Michael. Probably something clumsy, or make them lose a game. So he’ll piss him off, and Michael will just snap. He’ll pin him up against something- a wall, the floor, anything. It’ll be a long time before they actually do anything in a bed. Lots of grinding, making out, other touching. They’ll be close before they even get their clothes off. You know, they’ll probably do it on the couch most of the time, they’d be too impatient to make it to the bedroom.”

“Lindsay, please.” Geoff begged her, face ablaze, while Ray’s gasps began to evolve into dry heaves.

Lindsay continued as though she couldn't hear anything. “They’ll try saying it means nothing, that it was a one time thing, but after the first time they won’t be able to keep their hands off each other."

“Lindsay!” Ray gasps, sounding as though he might start to cry any minute.

Lindsay laughs. “Gavin will be ridiculously submissive, too. Not power bottom, he wouldn't be able to take charge. He’d just sit back and take everything Michael gave to him. He’d let Michael do whatever he wanted, Gavin would never be able to say no. Not to Michael. Gavin would be so loud, too! He’d whine and gasp, squirm all around because Michael would just make him feel amazing.”

Ray pushed his chair backwards, fleeing from the room. He struggles with opening the door for a short moment while Lindsay continues laughing.

After Ray left- slamming the door behind him- Geoff turns to face Lindsay.

“You think about this stuff way too much.” He told her, his stomach a little bit upset. “It’s honestly not healthy.”

Lindsay shrugged, still smiling. “I read a lot of fanfiction. Some of it is crap, but a lot of it is scarily accurate.”

The door clicked open, and the two found themselves looking at Michael, his curls bouncing everywhere. His jeans were baggy and his Achievement Hunter sweater tight in the arms. He kept glancing over his shoulder, slight confusion settled on his features.

“Does anybody know what’s up with Ray?” Michael asked. “He looked about ready to hurl.”

Michael turned and faced the room, his expression becoming more confused at the sight of Geoff’s red face and Lindsay’s cocky smile.

“What?” Michael asked, touching his hair self consciously. Lindsay smirked before opening her mouth to reply.

“Micool!” Gavin bounced into the room, Ryan Haywood just a foot or so behind him, Gavin grabbing hold of Michael behind, grabbing hold of the older mans’ shoulders. Michael struggled to take hold of Gavin’s flailing legs, but managed to keep them both balanced.

Ryan squeezed past the two boys, shooting Lindsay an annoyed but knowing look. Lindsay giggled, looking at Geoff as though saying all the proof he’d ever need was standing right there in the doorway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos take seconds and they mean the world.  
> Comments take a little bit more, and they mean everything.


	3. I Can Hardly Stand Myself, So What Am I To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin convinces Michael to replay Five Nights At Freddy's for a new Play Pals, to reestablish his masculinity. Scared Gavin and attempting comforting Michael ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title taken from the song Every Night by Imagine Dragons. 
> 
> Sorry for the late update! Enjoy xx

The room was darkening, sun set seen through the open window. It paints the room gold, reflecting off of all the shiny surfaces that fill the room. It’s quite, a luxury uncommon in the building. No one is in the room, stand by screens the only thing that moves.

“Come on, Michael, it’ll be fun.” Gavin whines, grabbing hold of Michael and giving the boy his best pout. “Please! I promise it won’t be like last time; I can do it.”

“You don’t have to prove anything, Gavin.” Michael said, plopping down into his chair, spinning it to face the screen as he starts setting up.

“But Micool everyone thought I was weak.”

“You are weak, but that’s besides the point. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, you idiot.” michael looked up at Gavin, placing a warm hand on Gavin’s shoulder. He gave him a soft smile, looking into his clear green eyes.

Gavin’s hair was disheveled, sticking up in all different directions, obviously he has been playing with it. Likely that he had been nervous, wanting to prove himself, but still hesitant to do so. His lips were red, saliva slick on the surface. Gavin pulled his lip between his teeth, white stark against the redness of his lip. His eyes looked down at Michael with passionate fervor. The look on his face, so incredibly determined, had heat stirring in Michael’s stomach.

Michael blushed, red flushing his cheeks the colour of his hair. Gavin gave one final pout, screwing his face up into something more like a grimace. Michael rolled his eyes, laughing as he looked back up at Gavin.

“You look like a moron, but I’ll play with you.”

Gavin made an excited squeal, jumping into the air with a triumphant look on his face.

“Thank you, Micool!” Michael rolled his eyes again, turning back towards the screen. As he began setting up, a nervous feeling pooled in his gut. Playing this game plast time had almost broken his heart. Even if Michael thought Gavin could handle it, he himself knew that his own emotions couldn’t.

“I won’t cry this time.” Gavin spoke aloud as he sat, though Michael suspected he was telling himself rather than his friend.”

“I know.” Michael replied anyways, shooting the British lad a small but anxious smile. Gavin smiles back, appearing- if possible- even more nervous.

The game began and this time they were prepared, knowing that they shouldn’t waste power, that this game was so much worse in the dark.

To Gavin’s credit, he was clearly trying not to appear scared, figuring- correctly- that if Michael even suspected that he was even the slightest bit frightened he would have the game off in only a matter of seconds.

“You know, that fans think us being scared is adorable.” Gavin spoke up, not looking away from the screen. He was afraid to see if the fans were right, though he knew that they usually were.

“That’s great, Gavin.” Michael snipped, more snarky than he’d originally intended. He couldn’t explain why he was suddenly so frustrated- it could have been anything that set him off.

Michael glanced over at Gavin to make sure that he hadn’t hurt his boys’ feelings too much. Gavin, however, hadn’t appeared to hear him at all. His shoulders were tense, his posture slumped, as though he was trying to make himself look small. His eyes were wide and his face pale; the game was clearly getting to Gavin more than he was willing to let on.

“You alright, boi?” Michael asked him, placing his hand on Gavin’s shoulder. The boy was cold, Michael could feel his low body temperature right through his t-shirt. At the touch of Michaels’ significantly warmer hand, Gavin shivered; a chill running down his spine that he couldn’t quite place the origin of.  
He felt the fear that had been pooling in his stomach release and a small smile came to his face. This feeling was different than the one’s he’d been feeling for Michael lately; this one made his heart swell.

Michael, on the other hand, had always known how he felt about Gavin Free- and it wasn’t how he wanted to. The only person Michael had ever mentioned his attraction to boys to- Gavin in particular- was Ray. Michael had thought many times about telling Gavin that he liked both genders, but he was afraid. It wasn’t that he thought Gavin would be weird about it- he wasn’t a homophobic guy- but he was nosy. If Gavin knew Michael likes boys, he was one step closer to finding out that he likes Gavin. That could never happen, because it would ruin everything.

Michael could feel the fond that was likely radiating off his face but he couldn't force himself to tone it down. The fans were right; Gavin was adorable when he was scared.

“I’m okay.” Gavin said, his voice a little uneasy. His smile was simple, not forced, so Michael decided to believe him.

“I know,” Michael moved his hand back to the controls, feeling his face heat up. “I just worry about you, you fucking prick.”

Gavin leaned forward, pressing his face into Michael’s shoulder blade. “Don’t worry about me, Micool. I’m brave.”

Michael laughed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Whatever, idiot.” He pulled away, only slightly, but enough for Gavin to pull back into a regular seat.

Unfortunately for the two boys, while they had been talking, they hadn’t been paying attention to the game they were supposed to be playing. As Gavin’s eyes trailed to the screen, the creature jumped out and they died.

Gavin screamed- high pictured and loudly. He jumped nearly a foot into the air, grabbing hold of Michael’s shoulders, latching on for dear life. Michael flinched and choked out a mangled, “holy shit!” as his stomach jumped into his throat.

Gavin whimpered, digging his fingernails into Michael, who attempted to pull away. “Are you sure you still want to do this?”

“Yes.” the other lad answered instantly, no moment of hesitation. Michael’s stomach-which had settled back to it’s rightful place- was full of butterflies.

“Gavin…” He said slowly, not sure exactly what he was going to say. He didn’t think it was a good idea to keep playing because he was either going to punch Gavin or kiss him if the boy didn’t stop being a little dumbass.

“Michael…” Gavin replied in a mocking tone, his eyes filling with a brightness that Michael loved.

“It’s a shit idea.” Michael argued, moving to turn the game off. Gavin took hold of his arm, pouting. “Come on, Gav, even I’m freaked out.”

“I’m fine!” Gavin cried, his lip quivering. “I’m not scared, Micool, honest.”

“Shut the fuck up and listen for a minute, Gavin. I know that you want to be brave, or don’t want your masculinity questioned. But you’re doing it all wrong. This game is something that you can’t do- get over it! Everybody is afraid of something, Gav.” Michael pleaded, placing his hand on top of the boys’, before blushing and pulling away.

“It’s not that I’m not letting myself be scared, it’s that I’m afraid of so many things. Everyone thinks I’m girly, that I’m too feminine. I bloody hate it.” Gavin explained.

“What the hell is so wrong with being feminine? If that’s who you are, that’s the fucking end of it. You can’t change that.”

“I don’t that being girly is bad, I just hate what people say because of it.”

“And what exactly do they say, Gav?”

“They… They call me gay.”

Michael felt his rage flare, seeing red at the adaciousy of the comment. His face reddens, narrowing his eyes and clenching his face.

“What the fuck is wrong with being gay?”

“No, no, there’s nothing wrong-”

“Then why the hell would you say something like that? That’s a fucking dick move, Gavin. No one likes a homophobe. Do you think gay people like being compared to something that’s considered bad? No, they don’t.” Michael spoke, voice harsh and sharp, words jabbing at Gavin like the latter’s statement had stabbed him. Michael couldn’t fathom that Gavin Free, the person he cared for most, could be a homophobe. Michael had always thought highly of him, but he’d been wrong, apparently. He wondered what else he was wrong about.

“I’m not a homophobe, Michael! I just think being gay is bad when the people who say it mean for it to be bad. I didn’t mean anything by it, I just hate being called something that people think is so wrong just to insult me.” Gavin whimpered, voice quiet as he felt increasingly worse about his feelings. He grabbed his hair, pulling on it slightly before brushing it back, leaving it sticking up in all different directions. If Michael wasn't so mad, he’d have thought it was adorable.

“Why do you hate it so much?” Michael asked, voice softer now as he saw how visibly distraught Gavin was. He didn’t move to comfort him, too infuriated by Gavin’s previous remarks. Michael did, however try to be less harsh.

“Because I AM gay, Michael.” Gavin whispered, so quiet that Michael didn’t hear. He asked for him to repeat and Gavin took a deep breath, his eyes lay trained at the ground as he fiddled with his hands in his lap. “I’m gay, okay! I’m gay and I hate that they know and make fun of me for it.” Gavin yelled, standing up and putting his hands in his hair. He pulled on the strands, so hard he visibly winced. He threw his hands in the air, a defeated look spreading across his features. In between his eyebrows, a firm line formed. “Are you happy now?”

“Fuck off!” Michael yelled, standing up, coming face to face with the other lad. “You fuck girls all the time, don’t lie to me!”

“I never said that! I would just say that I fucked someone.” Gavin growled, narrowing his eyes. “You always just assumed.” Turning around, Gavin made his way towards the door. He stepped out and slammed it behind him, a loud punctuating echo sounding out in the now quiet room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos take seconds and they mean the world.  
> Comments take a little bit more, and they mean everything.


	4. And This Is How It Starts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late posting! We hope you enjoy! xx.
> 
> Title taken from the song Sex by The 1975

They stumble into the dark living room, breath coming out in heavy pants. Gavin trips, feet catching on a stray shoe as the two men navigate through the darkness. Gavin grabs Michael, holding tightly onto his shoulders as he supports himself. Michael wraps his arms around Gavin, hands spanning his small back as he presses Gavin against his body.

“I’ve got you, Gav.” Michael says, voice low and deep. Gavin straightens up tilts his face down and captures Michaels’ lips in his. He grasps the back of his head, grabbing a handful of luscious curls as he deepens the kiss. Michael, - one hand on the small of the other boys’ back, the other resting on his chest- backs Gavin up against the wall. Gavin runs his hands down Michaels’ back, resting his hands on his hips before delving under the warm hoodie and feeling the warm pale skin against his hands. He feels up his chiseled and toned stomach. His hand ghosts over his happy trail, running his finger along the waistband of his pants. Michael grabs his hands and pushed them away.

“No touching.” Michael says, rutting his hips forwards, trapping Gavin against the wall with his hips. Gavin whimpers, pushing his hips forward as best he can. “No, Gavin. I’m in control here.” Gavin whimpers once more, leaning his head against the wall and groaning. Michael places his knee in between Gavin’s leg and pushed his thigh right against his hard on, applying the perfect amount of pressure. Gavin smacks his head off the wall, moaning loudly, something sounding like Michael’s name. Gavin grabs Michael’s shoulders, squeezing harder every time Michael presses down. “Don’t touch.” Michael growl, bending down to nip at Gavin’s throat. Gavin intakes a sharp breath, grabbing Michael’s hair and pulling as Michael sucks the skin on Gavin’s Adams apple, nipping and soothing the now red flesh.

“I said,” Michael grabs hold of the other boys’ wrists, digging his fingers into the soft skin. “No. Touching.” Michael punctuates his words by pressing Gavin’s wrists against the wall above his head.

Gavin, eyes heavy lidded from arousal, looks directly into Michael’s brown eyes, alight with passion, and whimpers. He moans as he experimentally moves his wrists. Michael tightens his grip on Gavin’s small wrists and leans down to suck behind his ear, nibbling on the lobe.

“Oh God, Michael, yes.”

Michael jolts awake to the sound of a moan of his name falling from the mouth of the person he never expected. Gavin lays beside him, legs wrapped around Michael’s body. Gavin grinds down, erection prominent against Michael’s bare lower back. Michael begins to grow in his boxers and feels himself panic.

“Holy fuck, this is actually happening?” Michael wonders to himself, gripping the blanket around him tighter.

“Oh, Michael!” Gavin moans, wiggling on the bed and grinding even harder on Michael. “Please, Michael, oh pleeasee.” Gavin groaned, grasping at the bed sheet.

Michael, completely flabbergasted, lays in bed helplessly, more confused than he’d ever been. In a last minute effort, elbows Gavin- hard- as he pretends to be asleep. Gavin jolts awake, eyes searching around desperately for the source of the assault. All that’s around is the adorable sleeping body of Michael, who looked utterly at peace. That’s when he noticed that he was completely wrapped around Michael and his pajama pants were full with something more than just morning wood.

 _This is not the sort of thing that was supposed to happen to a 26 year old guy_ , Gavin thought to himself. At least Michael wasn’t awake, because that would have been absolutely horrible. Gavin, finding no other reasonable solution, got up reluctantly, and went to the bathroom.

Michael feels relief flood his entire body when he feels the weight of Gavin release. He opens his eyes to see the last slice of light as the door closes behind the other boy. Having never felt so helpless, Michael was never more relieved for something to be over.

 

***

 

Gavin drops down onto his bed, drinking right out of the bottle. He sighs loudly, reliving the most embarrassing moments of his life, and decided that this past morning now topped the list. The only thing that would have made it worse was if Michael has been awake or aware of what had been happening.

He drowned back at least half of the bottle of vodka, and glanced at his iPhone. Picking it up, he glances at his most recent messages; to Geoff- for a ride – to Michael, also for a ride - and to Ray, confirming dates for X-Ray and Vav recording. He hit the contact and pressed “Call.”

“Gavin?” Ray asked, his voice sounding distant in Gavin’s bubbly head. “What’s up?” Her opened his mouth to answer, but all that came out was a stream of giggles. Ray had to ask him three more times what was up before Gavin found his words.

“I had a sex dream last night.” “Gavin, I could really care less.” Ray said, voice bored and slightly uncomfortable. Gavin giggled, voice covering up his dismay.

“But, X-Ray,” He sing-songed, voice higher in pitch. His voice leveled out, suddenly serious. “It was about Michael. I was in bed with him when it happened.” Gavin heard Ray gag, and began giggling uncontrollably. “Ray! This is serious! I don’t know what to do.” Gavin’s voice, filled with giggles, evened out at the end, once more becoming serious with grave concern.

“First; ew. Second; ew. Third; I don’t fucking know.” Ray said, voicet thick with growing disgust. 

“What do you think I should do?” Gavin moaned into his phone, leaning his head against the thick, fluffy pillow. “Do you think I should tell Michael?” There was a distinct silence on the other end of the line. “Ray? Raaaaaaaaaaaay?”

“I don’t think you you should tell Michael.” Ray said, his voice serious now. “He doesn’t need to hear that.”

Even in his drunken state, Gavin had a feeling that there was more to the situation than what Ray was saying. “But Michael’s my boy- he’s my little, itty, bitty Micool- he wouldn’t be mad. Do you think he’ll be mad at me?” Gavin’s voice suddenly went from giggly to pathetically sad. Ray sighs loudly.

“Okay, no, Michael probably wouldn’t be mad, but I know that he doesn’t like you back, and I don’t want you getting hurt.” Ray tactlessly stated, voice hardher than intended, with his attempt at being blunt.

“W-what?” Gavin’s voice began to quiver, breath coming out choked. “Why wouldn’t he like me?”

“No, Gavin, I didn’t-” “What’s so wrong with me? Why wouldn’t he like me? Is it because I’m too thin? I-is it my nose? W-what if it’s because I’m taller?” Gavin cried, tears streaming down his face. His face was read, blotchy from the wet tears. He hiccuped, rubbing his eyes like a child and sobbing into his hand. He looked around desperately, searching for an answer of some kind. He was the bottle of vodka on his bedside table and grabs it, taking large gulps of the clear liquid. He feels it glide down his throat, burning every inch on the way down, Gavin can feel a tingling sensation slide through his body reaching the tips of his fingers. A warm fuzzy feeling fills his body with artificial love.

“I think I’m just gunna stay with my little friend named Smirnoff. Bye bye X-Ray.” Gavin slurred, giggling to himself as he hangs up the phone. “Hello ‘noff-y. You taste bad, but you make me feel so good.” Gavin said, giggling into the bottle as he swallows a large gulp. “I’m glad you love me.” Gavin whispers, drinking the last of the clear liquid and falling asleep with the tear tracks still on his cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos take seconds and mean the absolute most to us.  
> Comments take slightly longer, and they mean even more.


	5. Loose Lips Might Sink Ships But Honesty's Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael, Gavin, Lindsay, Barbara and Ray go out for drink together. Michael is having some difficulty. Gavin has some things on his mind that have been bothering him. They help each other get through

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to conflicting schedules and the interference of the winter break, this is going to be going on a brief hiatus. It will only be until January and while that does seem like a long time, it will be worth it! Thank you for your patience, and for reading, we appreciate it greatly. Enjoy this chapter and let us know what you think!
> 
> Chapter title taken from Covered In Cowardice by Billy Talent

The room was busy, the sharp smell of too much alcohol filling Michael’s nose. Music, loud and pumping, fills the already noisy space. Michael sits at a table with Barbara, Gavin, Ray and Lindsay, though despite this he feels alone. They all talk among themselves, while Michael knocks back shot after shot, barely cringing at the horrible taste anymore.

It had been nearly a week since the incident with Gavin. Michael had since been trying his hardest not to be awkward but to no avail. Ever since Michael had seen, and heard, Gavin at his most vulnerable, all he could think about was sex. It was as though he was launched back into high school. Every time Gavin said his name, the image of scrunched up eyebrows, flushed face, and desperately grabbing at sheets would pop into his head. Michael would blush profusely and look away, even occasionally adjust himself, and try and go about his day normally. But he was still left with that nagging, overwhelming secret.

Gavin, however, had been more or less avoiding Michael, only talking to him when it was necessary. Gavin knew that if he was to so much as look at Michael, her would be thrown directly into that dream where the only thing he could think about was the delicious pressure of Michael against him. Despite the avoidance, Gavin was starting to feel the loss of his favourite boy, and he truly missed him.

To add insult to injury, in respects to Michael, everytime he’d mention Gavin, Ray would act completely off. Whenever Michael would ask him about his reactions to the different situations that Michael found himself in, Ray would stutter and change the subject. Michael knew that something was up, but he had no idea what ‘it’ was.

For days Michael had been feeling completely alone. He figured that he could have talked to Lindsay, but more than anything he didn’t want to deal with the cocky attitude that would certainly come with any sort of confession. Surprisingly enough, Lindsay had been the only person acting like their normal self.

Michael smacked down the shot glass on the table, causing a shake from the force of his hand. Barbara glanced up, raising her eyebrows.

“Aggressive, much?” She asked him, a small smile coming to her pretty face. Michael felt his cheeks heat up as he felt Gavin’s gaze on him, and tried to avoid the question in his worried eyes.

He failed miserably, glancing towards his boy after only a short moment. Gavin was still staring at him, cheeks rosy and mouth set in a straight line. His green eyes were full of concern, as he tapped his fingers on the table anxiously. Michael’s gaze didn’t evade Gavin long, trailing back to his face just as he mouthed “are you okay?”

Michael nodded quickly and looked away. He caught sight of Ray was glancing between his two teammates with an odd expression that Michael couldn’t place the meaning of.  
“You know what’s really great?” Ray asked, leaning forward on his elbows, glaring directly at Gavin. Gavin, eyes still lingering on Michael’s face noticed nothing. Ray raised his eyebrows tauntingly. “Sex dreams.”

Having gained Gavin’s attention now, the boy’s head jerked towards Ray, the concern leaving his eyes- being replaced by a mixture of anger and fear. Lindsay felt a discontent at not knowing what was going on, though the fact that Michael looked just as uncomfortable as Gavin was not lost on her.

Ray wouldn’t break eye contact with Gavin, leaving the table immersed in a confused, tense silence for a long moment.

“Yup,” Gavin said, finally glancing away, looking down at his lap. “Sex dreams are top. Best kind of dreams.” He said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. Michael’s entire face heated up to the colour of his hair, and suddenly became fascinated by the empty shot glass in front of him. Gavin tugged at the collar of his t-shirt, avoiding making direct eye contact with anybody in the room. His hand tapped quickly and anxiously on his pant leg. On complete impulse, before he could even think properly about what his actions might mean and the repercussions, Michael reached out and placed his hand on top of Gavin’s.

The colour quickly left Gavin’s face and his eyes flickered towards Michael for a brief moment. It was long enough for Michael to see the pure terror in the boy’s eyes. Instead of pulling away, like he knew he should have, Michael gave Gavin a quick squeeze and smiled a reassuring smiles. Gavin smiled back, his shoulders visibly relaxing as he felt the majority of stress leave his body. He relished in the feeling of Michael’s warm, strong and calloused hands against his own. The presence of Michael and the connection felt between the two made Gavin feel safe and less alone.

Ray had been doing things like this more often than usual for him. He was the type to poke and make fun, take the piss and joke around, but he wasn’t unusually the type to be a right twat about it. He would bring up sex dreams and feelings in front of Michael frequently whenever Gavin was with him. Each time, Gavin would sit, playing with some object in his hands and try to stammer and desperately change the subject, but Ray would not relent. He’d smile and laugh like he was getting some sick kick out of making Gavin squirm. As the source of the too- frequent strikes, Gavin was beginning to feel rather attacked.

Michael gave Gavin’s hand one more squeeze, lingering his fingertips upon the soft skin a little longer than necessary. Gavin came out of his reverie, looking Michael in the eye as he felt Michael’s fingertips trail across the back of his hand. Goosebumps spread across his skin as a shiver ran up his spine.

“Well that was intimate.” Ray said, breaking both men out of their trance state, having forgotten they were not the only people in the room. “Team Nice Dynamite has quite the spark.

“Shut the fuck up Ray, leave him alone.” Michael said, anger getting the better of him. He looked over at Gavin’s slumping form, arms wrapped around himself as he tried to make himself look small. He was biting his lip and looking at the drinks on the table. There were several pints of beer, a few shot glasses and a few glasses filled with the remnants of whiskey. Michael hadn’t been paying attention to the amount of alcohol his boi had been drinking, but now he was very worried. He knew Gavin only drank severe quantities of alcohol when something was practically eating him up inside. Judging by his reactions to Ray’s less-than-playful-banter, Gavin really needed to get away from the booze and Ray and find a safe place to get whatever was bothering him off his chest. Before he had time to think about it, he slammed enough money on the table to cover both boy’s drinks, grabbed Gavin by the hand and stood up. “Let’s get out of here, Gav. It’s time for us go. Bye, ladies.” Michael nodded in the direction of Lindsay and Barbara, and picked up his sweater, waiting for a surprised Gavin to get up.

Gavin was flushed to the roots of his hair, eyes sparkling at the warm touch of Michael’s hand in his own. He intertwined their fingers and waved goodbye to the girls before following Michael out the door. As they left the bar, the cold air hit him, calming his senses while he walked hand in hand to down the street. Gavin began to shiver, the air nipping at his exposed arms as they crossed the parking lot. Michael, noticing the shaking hand in his own, looked over at Gavin to make sure he was alright. He raised an eyebrow, noticing his cheeks, now red from cold, and his chattering teeth. Gavin sniffled cutely under Michael’s gaze.

“It’s bloody freezing out here.” Gavin said, a shiver running through his body as if to prove his point.

“It’s warm as hell out here, Gavin, what the hell are you talking about? Where’s your sweater?” Michael gave Gavin once over, noticing his bare arms covered in goosebumps. “Jesus christ, take mine. I’ll order us a cab” He said, draping the soft material over Gavin’s shoulders. Gavin quietly thanked him as Michael took out his phone, dialing the number and giving them the address of the store they were sat in front.

“Thanks, Micool. I left my sweater in the bar.” Gavin sniffled, moving closer to Michael to get some of his body heat. Michael, noticing the shift, untangled their fingers and wrapped his arm around Gavin’s shoulders, pulling him close into the side of his body. “Thank you for sticking up for me back there.” Gavin hiccuped, stumbling over his feet.  
“Ray was being a dick, it’s nothing.” Michael said, noticing the cab pulling up and opening the door, motioning for Gavin to get inside. Gavin slid into the car, sitting in the soft seats as Michael told the driver the address. They sat like that for awhile, Gavin slowly stopping shivering as the heat sank into his bones, warming his body similar to the way the touch of Michael had.

Gavin thought about the Ray situation, how rude he was being lately and how happy he was that he finally got his boi back. He was staring at Michael’s face, watching the way the yellow light hit his face, illuminating his pale skin and making his eyelashes cast shadows on his cheeks. He hadn’t noticed he was staring until Michael over at him and cleared his throat. Blushing profusely, Gavin looked away and apologized under his breath.

Michael felt the alcohol course through his veins, lighting every nerve on fire. At the bar he didn’t realized just how pissed he had been getting, but now, in the warmth of the cab, with Gavin’s warm body just inches from his own. His fingers twitched, aching to touch Gavin, to hold his hand. He wanted nothing more than to take his face in his hands and kiss him until he was warm again.

Gavin felt Michael’s lingering gaze, but tried his hardest not to look at him. He looked out the window, body heating up under the intense feeling of Michael’s eyes on him. He moved in his seat, subconsciously moving closer to Michael before looking over at him, curiosity getting the better of him. Michael looked like something out of one of Gavin’s fantasies. He was turned towards Gavin, lip between his teeth. His eyes didn’t meet Gavin’s, instead they were set upon his lips, staring at the pink flesh as he chewed on his own lip.

Michael looked back up at Gavin and noticed the shocked look on his face. Gavin’s eyes were wide, and his face was red, but he was slowly moving closer to Michael. Gavin looked down at Michael’s lips, glancing from his mouth to eyes to mouth again, and Michael lost it.

He surged forward, cupping Gavin’s face in his hands. He connected their lips, kissing him like it was the only thing he knew how to do. He rubbed his thumb against his cheek, pulling back and opening his eyes at the same time Gavin did. Gavin’s eyes were wide, but happy, his breathing heavy and panting as he searched Michael’s face for any sense of hesitation or regret. When he found none, he dove in, kissing Michael gently, but with passion, forgetting the fact that they were in the back seat of a cab and not the only people in the world. They kissed, occasionally stopping to breathe, or test to see if everything was still okay. Michael nibbled at Gavin’s lip, biting softly before smoothing his tongue over the now red flesh. Gavin gasped, a small intake of breath that made Michael smirk, diving in to kiss him once more. Things began getting heated, tongues added to the messy kiss before it came to an abrupt halt when they heard a clearing of someone’s voice. They separated loudly, breath coming out in heavy puffs as they looked at the driver who was avoiding eye contact. He cleared his throat and glanced up for a moment before looking back down and telling them that his was their destination. He punctuated his words by unlocking the doors, a loud click sounding out in the now quiet car. Michael scrambled to pay the driver hands shaking at the tense feeling that lay thick in the air. They got out of the cab, standing beside each other awkwardly. Michael reached up, kissing Gavin hard and intense before pulling away. He brushed some hair out of Gavin’s face giving him a brief smile as he rested his hand on his cheek, brushing his thumb against the soft skin.

“Goodnight, Gavin.” He said, before turning around and walking down the quiet, empty street.


	6. Lies Only Hide The Way You Feel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are so fucking sorry for the delay of this chapter. We will try furthermore to post on time. Our schedules are very busy, so please bare with us.

The quiet, distant sound of soft chirping brings Gavin to attention. He cracks open his eyes, squinting at the strain caused by the sunlight, shining through the open window. The dark, thick fabric of his curtains blocking out the harsh light, save for a small crack in between the panels. The sunlight streams through the open space, engulfing the room in the sharp, hazy light.  Small dust particles float through the air, drifting and souring, moving slow, than fast, hovering in the space. Gavin watches them quietly for what feels like forever, trying to rid his mind of pestering thoughts. The atmosphere is calm, the opposite of what Gavin feels.  

  


He woke up feeling weird- not the typical drank too much last weird, either. This feeling in his gut told him that something very important had happened while he’d been drinking too much last night. That last thing he’d remembered was Ray being a right twat at the bar, being filled with embarrassment and then ordering himself another pint of beer. He remembered being very aware of sitting so close to Michael, feeling more than a little bit awkward with the closeness between their bodies, given all the fighting and other events that had taken place in only the last week.

  


Wait... Michael. Whatever happened last night had something to do with Michael, Gavin knew that much. He squeezed his eyes shut and forced his brain to open itself up to memories that had disappeared. He needed to remember this before he waltzed into the office unaware to possible shit storm that may be waiting for him.

  


He saw Michael’s face, angry and glaring at Ray... He saw Michael grabbing his hand and pulling him from the booth. 

  


Gavin winced, this force memories causing him slight pain. He pulled a lone image of Michael on his cell phone making some sort of call. Then the floodgates opened and he remembered everything. 

  


He was staring at Michael’s face, watching the way the yellow light hit his face, illuminating his pale skin and making his eyelashes cast shadows on his cheeks. He hadn’t noticed he was staring until Michael glance over at him and cleared his throat. Blushing profusely, Gavin looked away and apologized under his breath.

  


Gavin felt his stomach turned at the images rushing through his mind, as though on slow motion but he couldn’t stop them now.

  


_He looked out the window, body heating up under the intense feeling of Michael’s eyes on him. He moved in his seat, subconsciously moving closer to Michael before looking over at him, curiosity getting the better of him. Michael looked like something out of one of Gavin’s fantasies._

  


No, Gavin though wildly, eyes going wide. This isn’t actually what happened last night it couldn’t be. This was some sort of false alcohol induce memory. 

  


_ He surged forward, cupping Gavin’s face in his hands. He connected their lips, kissing him like it was the only thing he knew how to do. He rubbed his thumb against his cheek, pulling back and opening his eyes at the same time Gavin did. _

_  
_

The nausea that had been within Gavin since he woke up and he lunged towards the bathroom. While sitting on the floor, he felt the panic set in. What the fuck? He wanted very much to believe that hadn’t actually happened, that it was something he’d dreamt that night and was being mixed up a memory but he knew better. He could practically feel Michael touching him, kissing him.

  


Gavin’s entire body seemed to be on fire, and that’s when he decided to call in ill.

  


***

  


Michael knew damn well that there were parts of the previous night that didn’t remember, memories not going any farther than Ray mentioning wet dreams (cocksucker.). He, unlike Gavin, didn’t even try to remember what had gone on. His father had told him that if your brain blacks something out, it’s because it doesn’t want- or doesn’t need- to remember.

  


He stood in the office, looking around with an odd feeling in his stomach. He wasn’t sure why felt so off today, but he knew that it much more than just a hangover. Michael actually didn’t feel all that hungover, as he continued to glance around. He patted down his hair that had refused to cooperate with him that morning.

  


Geoff came into the room alone, patting his phone against his knee.

  


“Where’s Gavin?” Michael asked when the bouncy British lad didn’t follow him into the room.

  


“Poor baby isn’t feeling very well.” Geoff laughed, dropping himself down into seat. Michael blinked, concern coming through him. He opened his mouth to say something but was hit by a blimp of a memory before he got the chance.

  


_ He looked over at Gavin’s slumping form, arms wrapped around himself as he tried to make himself look small. He was biting his lip and looking at the drinks on the table. There were several pints of beer, a few shot glasses and a few glasses filled with the remnants of whiskey. _  


_  
_

“Well, yeah.” Michael scoffed. “He drank enough for about three people last night.”

  


A slight concerned look settled on Geoff’s face, who clearly hadn’t expected to hear that Gavin had drank that much, but he turned towards his monitor without a word. Michael felt the same concern in the pit of his stomach that Geoff did, both of them knowing full well Gavin only drank a lot when there was something really bothering him. Michael hoped it wasn’t the awkward morning at Michael’s house the other day... But he couldn’t be sure.

  


He was hoped Gavin was at home getting rest, not getting drunk.

  


***

  


Gavin sat on his bedroom floor, leaning against his bed, staring at his phone. Part of him hoped that Michael would call and check up on him but Gavin knew better. If Michael remembered what happened, he’d surely be avoiding him and if he didn’t- well, he’d just assume that Gavin had a really old hangover and that it was nothing to be worried about.

  


He’d tried not to think about it, but kept finding himself sucked back into the memories that haunted his mind. Like, how ridiculously normal Michael had acted when heading home. He’d just said a simply “good night” and then walked away. As though nothing had happened, as though they hadn’t been making out in the back of a cab just moments before. 

  


Gavin groaned and covering his ears with his hands. If his hangover wasn’t so bad then he would probably have the urge to drink those memories back into black. So he called Michael.

  


“Micool.” He whined into his phone when his boi answered. “Michael, do you remember anything that happened last night?”

  


He was fishing for answers and he knew it. He needed to know how much Michael knew, so he could figure where to go from there.

  


“Not much.” Michael replied from the other line, sounding preoccupied and unconcerned. “Just that you drank a shit ton and Ray was being a dick to you.” 

  


“Yeah, uhm... Yeah.” Gavin murmured, face losing colour. He’d called hoping that Michael wouldn’t remember anything but now he thought it would have been better if Michael did remember. At least they’d be on some sort of common ground of awkwardness, instead of only Gavin knowing why things were awkward.

  


“Why? What do you remember?” Michael asked, Gavin seeming to have caught his entire attention now. “Gav?”

  


“Uh nothing.” Gavin said way too quickly, even he knew it. Michael was quiet for a moment, assumably thinking through his next words.

  


“Look, Gavin.” Michael said, his voice sounding remorseful. “If I said or did something to you last night, I- I was drunk. I’m sure I didn’t mean it.”

  


Hurt shot through Gavin’s body, followed quickly by a mixture of sadness and anger. “You meant it...More than once.”

  


He hung up before Michael had a chance to respond.

  


***

  


Michael sat with Ray and Chris Demarais at lunch, fidgeting with the package his sandwich was in.   


  


_ You meant it... More than once. _

“What’s the matter, Jones?” Ray asked, leaning forwards and smiling at him.

  


“Your face.” Michael snapped, wishing he had a better comeback. 

  


“Touchy!” Ray laughed with flare and rolled his eyes at Chris. The doe-eyed man looked back and forth between them and stopped at stare at Michael nervously.

  


“Ray’s just being a dick, it’s nothing.” Michael said. The words triggered something in his brain and his eyes glazed over as memories ran through him on fast forward.

  


_ Gavin sniffled, moving close to Michael...Wrapped an arm around Gavin’s shoulders, pulling him close into the side of his body...The cab pulling up and opening the door, motioning for Gavin to get inside... He was staring at Michael’s face... Michael felt the alcohol course through his veins, lighting every nerve on fire... His fingers twitched, aching to touch Gavin... _

  


“Michael?” Ray asked him, the humour leaving his face and being replaced with mild concern.

  


_ His eyes didn’t meet Gavins’, instead they were set upon his lips... Noticed the shocked look on his face... He connected their lips... Rubbed his thumb against his cheek... Gavin’s eyes were wide, but happy, his breathing heavy and panting... He dove in, kissing Michael gently... Michael nibbled at Gavin’s lips, biting softly before smoothing his tongue over the now red flesh... A small intake of breath that made Michael smirk... Michael scrambled to pay the driver, hands shaking at the tense feeling... Michael reached up, kissing Gavin hard and intense... “goodnight Gavin.”... Walking down the quiet, empty street. _

_  
_

“Mother fucker!”

  


***

  


Michael wasn’t even sure how he got to Gavin’s apartment, he just remembering leaving a very confused Ray and Chris behind and then he remembered getting there. He banged on the door loudly. Gavin opened the door and looked right into the anger and betrayal in Michael’s eyes.  


  


“You remembered.” 

  


__

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos take seconds and mean the absolute most to us.  
> Comments take slightly longer, and they mean even more. 
> 
> Follow me at blamemogar.tumblr.com  
> And Ashley at ashleygail.tumblr.com


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